You and Me
by eloquentgraffitti
Summary: After the loss of their baby, Jackson and April begin healing together slowly. Written for 16confessions on tumblr.


**I previously published this on my tumblr account for 16confessions to see, but have now transferred it over here, because, well...it's rated M and I didn't want to keep the whole thing on my blog for more than a day, lol. Hope everyone enjoys, and those of you who already saw this on tumblr and liked/reblogged the post: thank you!**

Jackson parked the car on the side of the road, releasing a deep breath he hadn't known he had been holding.

She looked at him, eyes glinting in the dark, and he saw the slightest flicker of a smile on her face.

"Why are we here, Jackson?" She asked softly.

"Just stay there, okay? He said, getting out of the car.

"What-why-" April suddenly panicked, then relaxed when he came around to her side.

He opened the door and before she could do anything, gently lifted her out, making her gasp.

"Jackson- Jack"

"I just wanted to take you back to the place where we, the two of us, _really_ started, okay?" He put her down, keeping his arms wrapped around her. "We needed to get out of there for a bit April, it's been almost a month, and.."

"I know, and thank you." She said sweetly, as she lifted up to kiss him, rubbing her forehead against his as their lips parted.

"Do you remember what happened here?" He asked, his voice low, just for her ears.

"I got scared and made you stop the car and ran away and you came after me." She murmured, eyes closed picturing that day in her mind and feeling nostalgic.

"Yeah, me coming after you…probably a side-effect of you running away." Jackson smirked.

She smiled sadly, and he choked up, a rush of memories suddenly overcoming him, taking him back through everything that had happened after that. Everything…right up until -

"He will always be our baby April." He whispered in her ear, hugging her tightly to him. "He'll always be with us, he'll always be our first born…"

"He was an angel..." April said her voice wobbly. "God sent him to us so that he could show us that...that..."

"That you and me...you and me April, it doesn't matter who believes in God and miracles and who believes in science and logic, you and me, together we're bigger than all of that. Our baby showed us that without a doubt, you and me, no matter the roads we took to finally come together, no matter how many times it seemed as if our stars had been crossed from the very start, no matter how much it seemed that ours was an ill-fated affair, our baby showed us that it wasn't. We _aren't_ an ill-fated affair April."

"We…_we_ were chosen to be the ones to give him the gentlest of farewells, a farewell fit for an angel…because he deserved one…" she whispered, and looked up at him, face wet with tears, and he smiled softly.

She had this way of looking at him with such childlike innocence and wonder…it broke his heart and healed him at the same time. She had looked at him the same way that day, that day she told him that she would pray for a miracle. And he had acquiesced, quietly, letting her find comfort in whatever it was she needed right then, because no mother, no mother should have to go through what April was going through. _His _April - because he didn't know a woman more fit to _be_ a mother, with her natural compassion and care and kindness, shouldn't have to go what she was going through.

And he had been angry. Oh, he had been livid, anger like he had never known had consumed him that day, anger at this "God" that he did not believe in; that_ he _did not believe in, but his wife _did _so how _dare_ He? _How_ _dare He? _

Jackson had found himself in church that day, talking to an unseen force that defied all logic, which broke down in the face of science, that every atom, every molecule in his body seemed to reject - much like the splendor of the biological immune system bursting into life, to immediately fend off an invading allergen. He remembered what he had said that day, to April's God - not _his _God, because he would never be a believer, and would never have talked to Him for anything- but for her sake, for his wife's sake, he had been willing to talk.

And boy, did he have some choice words to say, words he remembered clear as day. He had sat in that tiny pew, and unleashed all his venom, holding nothing back:

_"You know what infuriates me more? More than my wife putting all her faith, all her trust in __**you**__ through all of this, instead of me, her husband, even though I want __**that **__more than nothing else? __**You know what infuriates me more?**__ It's the fact that in her greatest hour of need, you, in all your divine frickin' glory that…that she believes in with such damn abandon__**, you**__ have chosen to desert her completely. And you know what, you good-for-nothing jerk__**? I'm**__ still here. I'm here! I have been nothing __**but**__ here for her since the very beginning. But I haven't seen __**you**__ show up. So what use are you? What has she ever done to you, except be faithful to you, and repent and regret whenever she had somehow felt like she had been unfaithful to…to the impossible standards you seem to hold her in? What did she do to deserve this? Marry me? Is that what it is? Was that her one great mistake? Has she been praying to a vindictive God, two-faced, only __**pretending**__ to have mercy all this time, you sorry son of a bitch? Because I don't know anyone who is kinder and gentler and sweeter than my wife, so…so I'm asking you, and as much as it angers me, I'm __**begging**__ you, to show up, for April. Just….just, frickin' show up." _

It had tried them both, what they had had to go through had tried them both, and as hard as it had been to let go of that tiny hand that had clutched his finger ever so lightly, with a touch that burned so brightly that it had branded his skin forever, they had both prevailed. And they would prevail still, whatever else happens to come their way. Together. God or no God, it's –

"You and me."

She interrupted his thoughts to smile up at him, and his heart, which had been laden with sorrow all this time, lifted up, still soaked in love for their tiny one, and soared.

She hadn't smiled like that at him since before…before everything happened, and it was all he had yearned to see.

"Thank you." She said softly, and a corner of his mouth lifted.

"For what?"

"For always coming after me. For always being here, even though – I – I know I might not have been all there, even though I run away…"

"April – " he tried to interrupt.

"No, I need to say it – you, are perfect. And you're mine, and I love, I love the way you love me, even when I don't seem loveable, because knowing _that_, knowing that you're there, that you'll _always_ be there, no matter what, is…is _everything." _She choked out.

He blinked furiously, cursing his expressive eyes, knowing that they were probably misting over, betraying how much it had meant to him to hear her say that.

And knowing that he had to diffuse the situation - either that, or he'd start bawling like a baby, and there was no way April was seeing that from him today, he decided to lighten the mood.

"Babe…you have never been _un_lovable. Even the things I don't like, I love, remember? So yeah, there's like a list of things that I don't really like that you do, but– "

She snorted, looking up at him with narrowed eyes.

"I know you're probably crying inside right now, and your eyes have misted over so don't pretend like you didn't need to hear what I had to say…"

Dammit. She was onto him.

Looking down at her chatting away at him, telling him exactly how much she knew him inside and out, and that he could never fool her, he was suddenly filled with so much love for her that he swooped down to take her lips, and felt her arms snake around behind his neck.

It started off soft, and sweet, and gentle, both of them pouring the love they had felt for each other during the past few weeks into the embrace, but then….then it wasn't enough.

He gently stroked her tongue with his own, and she moaned, tightening her grip around his neck, and he easily lifted her up to take her to the car, depositing her on her seat.

She gave a tiny gasp when his fingers brushed against her breast, and gently pushed at him, telling him in a breathy voice to get back inside the car.

Later on, after he had asked her, and asked her again, whether she was really ready for this, after she had almost smacked him with impatience, when he was inside her, with her gently rocking on top of him, she had decided to ask him whether he really thought there were bears in these woods.

And he had only been able to shake his head at her in disappointment.

"Really April, _now_, you want to talk about that _now_?!"

"I'm sorry! I just, I just remembered that day, you telling me that-"

"I also said that condoms don't break and that we should never talk to any of our family members ever again, didn't I?"

"I – oh."

A second's pause.

_"_Oh. Oh yes_…yes, oh God-"_

"I can't tell whether you're agreeing with me, or whether you just really like this thing that I'm doing."

Jackson had said devilishly, and she had moaned, burying her face in his neck as she squeezed her legs together, making him groan.

_"I – yes – yes – I do –"_

"Which is it?"

"I like what you're doing you – you jerk, just – oh – _oh God, _I'm _– I'm_-"

And then April had screamed, much to Jackson's satisfaction, loud enough to not just wake up any bears, if there were any in those woods that night, but enough to send them running for cover.


End file.
